Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

Have you ever gone out to dinner and been seated near a family with little kids? Your first thought was probably "%@!#%, why do I always get stuck next to the crazy families??"

Well, tonight, we were that crazy family in the middle of the restaurant. And for future reference, just because you may have the same number of adults as babies at the table doesn't necessarily mean you are equally matched for the event.

All in all, it was a learning experience in many ways. So, without further ado, here are a few key lessons we'd like to pass along to others who may be contemplating a similar "adventure":

• Always have a backup sippy cup on hand. Fortunately, this time we did, as Tyler was very intrigued with the squishiness of his styrofoam kid's cup. In other words, no sippy cup equals one very milk-soaked toddler.

• If a little bowl of red sauce arrives with the kid's meal, remove it from the plate before the toddler spots it. We failed on this one. Watching him dunk the first noodle in it was cute. Watching him squish the rest of his meal into the little ketchup-filled bowl then proceed to "paint" the table was not.
  

• If you order fettucini that has peas in it, and your toddler loves peas, don't give him a taste of your meal - unless you want to spend the rest of your time spearing peas with your fork for the demanding pea-lover (who doesn't like anything else on your plate).
  

• Always keep a backup bottle of formula handy for the wee one. If you read my previous post, you know that milk can sometimes make an angry baby happy. Well, it didn't really work so well this time, but it did buy us a little time.
  

• If angry baby won't stop crying unless he's being held, let the fastest eater eat first... then trade off the baby and let the slower eater eat their meal. That way everyone has a good chance to eat while their meal is at least a little bit warm.
  

• If the toddler drops a big piece of bread on the floor, and you put it back on the table to help prevent the area from looking like a complete warzone, put the bread far enough out of hubby's reach so he doesn't mistake it for a simple toddler reject that must be consumed. (Sorry, Jeff!)
  

• And finally, chug a glass of red wine with the meal. It really does make everything just a little bit easier...

Fortunately, at least two of the couples seated near us were understanding and did proceed to "ooo" and "ahhh" over the little guys... but I still couldn't help feeling we were at risk of getting a standing ovation from everyone else in the place when we finally got up to leave.

But, despite the chaos, we did get a full meal in, Tyler left without getting any of it in his hair, and Austin made it home without completely losing his temper. So, I guess that still counts as a successful night out, right?